An inebriated man stands in front of a drug store during a rain storm trying to light a cigarette. Back at his home, his wife and butler see a report on the No Hope Clinic's success curing alcoholics. When hubby arrives home, bringing two gypsies and their monkey, his wife insists it's time for the clinic. Once there, he gets a look at various surgeries, and he wants out - assisted at first by a woman who believes she's a mermaid. He pretends to drown, he dresses as a woman, and, when running away, he inadvertently joins the town's annual fat man foot race. But can he outrun the men in white coats?